Pre-school jitters

We have a case of the pre-school jitters. We're all a little crazy around here. Every activity is a bit on the weird side.

Ephraim has decided that now would be a good time to regress and start pooping in his underwear. And that now would also a good time to get in touch with his oppositional defiant side. Either that, or his hearing has vanished in the last week.

Eden's favourite word these past few days has been "why?". "Why can't we watch a video?" "Why are you cutting the potatoes that way?" "Why can't we have a puppy?". Absolutely incessant.

Aaralyn has a serious case of ants in her pants. She can't sit still for the life of her. And she is doing some major processing about entering Grade 1. I find pictures that she has drawn of herself in Grade 1 all over the house. She is writing letters to her Kindergarten teacher because she misses her so much. And she said to me just as she was going to sleep tonight "Mommy, can you teach me how to read tomorrow so I am ready for Grade 1?".

And I'm feeling quite agitated about the whole affair. It has been an intense and busy summer of travelling, with not alot of down time. Having three kids around full time hasn't been the easiest on me either. Don't get me wrong, it has been wonderful to have no schedule and just putter around the house in our pj's until noon. But I am definitely ready for the routine back.

And yet, it is hard to let these girls go. Especially when I know I'm not going to be around to fight for them. And I'm not going to be able to help them make 'good' decisions. And I'm not going to be there when they feel worried or hurt about something at school. And I'm not going to know every little details about their days. Each day they grow a little more independent and a little less dependant on me, and that is a hard pill to swallow. I can't even imagine what its going to be like when they head off to university...

And, to top it all off, I am processing my own future - looking for meaningful work again in a completely new field. It is just all a bit overwhelming.

The good news is, I have been happily back to school shopping, and loving every minute of it. I still have a few more things to get, but their new backpacks are filled with all things school, and we are all more than a little excited (and anxious) to get this new year started.